Don't tell the kids: Christmas comes too often

I am going to go all “adults only” on you with this next comment, so make sure no little kiddies are peering over your shoulder as you read this. Trust me, they will not be happy with what I am about to say.

I do this with my head down and with proper embarrassment and humility, but I must state how I feel: Christmas comes way too often.

Repeat for the reading-impaired. Christmas comes too often. Sorry.

Yes, sorry. But once a year is just too much. I know I am stepping on sacred ground here. I hate to do it, but I gotta go all Grinch-like and tell it like it is.

Now, counselor, if I could, let me explain myself.

First of all, like every kid ever, I used to love Christmas. Some of my best memories as a child were Christmas mornings. Presents. Family. Food. Decorations. You can’t beat it! It truly was wonderful. And when you’re a kid waiting a year for Christmas to come around…well, it seemed like forever!

So, no problems at all with bad Christmas memories.

But, as many of you are well aware of and have experienced yourself, as you age…time goes a lot faster. I mean, a lot faster!

So, for me…and I may be a party of one on this—Christmas and the whole holiday season simply comes too often. It is here far earlier than I am ever ready for it.

Bottom line: I cannot get psyched up and into the proper holiday spirit every season anymore. It’s too much. Sorry…but such are the facts.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love the holiday season. I love the spirit. The sentiment. The warmness. The gatherings of friends and family. The lights—it’s all wonderful.

But my point is, it just comes too often, too quickly, to get properly excited about it every single year. Again, this is most true, especially as you age. Now, I understand this is a completely foreign concept and unheard-of thinking to our young crowd out there. But I have to speak for the old fuddy-duddies who experience the calendar turning at way too rapid of a rate.

Despite taking the role of author-Grinch here, I do offer a suggestion. As you know, our little stuff book is all about solutions, so I will temper my complaint with some solid and very specific suggestions.

Here is my solution. (This is the part when the kids definitely should go to the other room.)

Christmas (Hanukkah, too) should be like the Olympic Games. Celebrate it once every four years.

Perfect solution. Lots of healing time. Lots of time to recharge. Now, when the holiday season comes around, you are going to really look forward to it! Imagine the excitement after a long, four-year wait. Mom and Dad are going to really be psyched for getting that nice tree and decorating the house. And with the money saved from previous “years off,” think of the nice bundle of presents Santa will be able to deliver to the kids.

Think how special the Olympic Games are. Or even the World Cup, if you’re a soccer fan. These once-every-four-year phenomena literally reek of excitement and anticipation. We could have this same anticipation/thrill for Christmas and the holidays again! (Instead of, oh boy…here we go again!)

Now I know this is an absolutely horrible idea for anyone, say, under the age of 14. The 15-to-30 age group might scale down a bit on this idea from, say, horrible to just ridiculous. But c’mon, all you thirty-and-overs? Don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel like the holiday season is here before you have been able to fully recuperate (spiritually, psychologically, and financially) from the previous year?

Think of the joy and anticipation as our once-every-four-year Christmas season approaches. Writing and addressing cards, buying gifts, and decorating the tree would now be highly anticipated and anxiously awaited occasions!

Hear ye, hear ye! I propose this amendment. Anyone with me? Hello? Anybody out there...

Sounds like crickets, as usual. Oh well. You can’t blame a man for trying, can you?

Republished from Dec. 18, 2023