While soaking up the season's wonderful holiday spirit, I recently received an email blast listing a suggestion for a holiday gift. It was a gift certificate for the Illinois Tollway! Yes, the advertising flier claimed, "What a wonderful way to surprise your loved one"— an I-Pass card with free tolls!
Wow. Not exactly the most romantic or dynamic of gifts, I thought. Downright droll and unexciting. But it did get me thinking…
Sometimes a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift might not be as exciting as you thought _ Photo via iStock
Besides a tollway I-Pass, what would be some of the least romantic and most unexciting Christmas gifts to unwrap on that special morning? This list is endless but fun to think about. I might even (to the horror of friends and family) even consider some of these for this year:
- A brand new fax machine! (if they even still make them). If not? Maybe a good used one.
- A book with the highlights of this past season for the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox. It is an easy read as it contains a front cover, a back cover, and precisely three pages (four if you count the acknowledgments)
- Socks or underwear. ‘Nuff said.
- A newspaper or magazine subscription. This must be given to someone under the age of 35 for it to fit into our somewhat useless holiday gift suggestions.
- A paper road map or atlas. Ditto giving a globe to a young child (remember those?)
- Free five-year delivery of Yellow Pages phone book.
- A self-improvement book. (If you give someone this, make sure you have your own "self-defense" book handy.
- Autographed photo of yourself. ‘Nuff said, part 2.
- Tickets to Jimmy Buffett concert. Useless and lousy taste all packaged together!
- Kitchen dish towels.
- Bed, Bath and Beyond gift certificate. (Side note: I can't remember a store closing where so many people said they really miss it and loved shopping there. So, why did they close? Total disconnect.
- Soap-On-A-Rope. I could make further comments here, but this is a family-friendly website.
- A desk calendar.
As stated above, this is just a partial list, and the possibilities are endless. Odds are you might get a gift this year that borders on the ridiculous and the sublime, like some of the above.
If you do? It's best to grin and bear it and be nice. It's the thought that counts, right?
Republished from Dec. 18, 2023
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