Hang on tight! Election night could be a wild ride

We have heard it for so long now: ”Six months ’til the election”, “Only three months ’til election day,” “Hang on, we are only a month away,” “Two weeks ’til election day,”  “Just seven days now,”, “48 hours folks, make sure you vote,” and well, you get the idea.

Now, finally the big day has arrived! Anticipation no more, as we finally get to find out the results. Time for celebration?  Hardly. (Quick writing pause here  for hollering  screaming, laughing, crying—or a mixture of all of the above.)

Election day has caused stress levels for many of us that are off the charts.  Not good for sure for those with high blood pressure or heart conditions.

One thing that is for sure—is that there is nothing for sure! We definitely do not know what to expect.  Many times you hear the experts say this is an election like none other, but this one?  The Donald Trump-Kamala Harris  battle truly is an election like none other!  In fact, not even close.

Normal, standard campaign rules have been broken more than the glass ceiling at a baseball testing factory, and the vitriol that has been spewed both ways is like the pot of boiling water that has not only boiled over, but now has leaked all over the stove onto the floor and is heading for the front door.

It’s been that crazy.

But Tuesday, Nov. 5, it all comes to fruition. The long wait will finally be over. (Maybe, see below).  The polls say it is razor-thin close, but the polls have been wrong before, so who really knows? It may come down to voter turnout and those last few “undecided voters.”

In fact, there are so few undecided voters left that the 2024 “undecided voter”, might sometime in the distant future be considered so rare that it will be featured in some virtual reality museum and, maybe, become as famous as the now extinct but iconic Tyrannosaurus Rex at the Field Museum.  A rare species indeed.

Maybe better yet, right next to The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier might someday be The Tomb of the 2024 Election Undecided Voter. 

One thing is quite certain: For the older folks like myself, used to finding out the result Tuesday night, or at the latest first thing Wednesday morning, it is going to be tough to get used to. The  odds of finding out that early in this particular election are somewhere between slim and none, and slim just walked out of the building.

Brace yourself. Recounts, disputes, protests, cries of cheating, rumors of fraud—all that and more are likely part of the post-vote scenario. The result of this particular election might not be known till Thursday or Friday or Saturday–or even Thanksgiving! Maybe even Christmas! I can see it now:  “Welcome to our  NBC Special Christmas election coverage—where we finally announce the presidential winner!  Oh, and Merry Christmas, everybody.”

In the end, will the Democrats be celebrating or will it be the Republicans?  It is anybody’s guess. But there is no guesswork when it comes to saying the losing side is going to be very upset. Sadly, but clearly—we are a divided nation, now more than ever in our 200-plus years,  and losing will in all likelihood not be handled well.

Some suggestions to get you through the intense stress of tomorrow night?   How about earplugs, or eye coverings, or a muzzle to stop you from saying something you probably shouldn’t. Maybe the use of a pandemic mask will help (to muffle the screams); definitely a good run or exercise beforehand is suggested; eat lightly (nothing too acidic), and–possibly required–a stiff helping of your favorite alcoholic beverage.

As we said at the top of this column, hang on, gang—tomorrow night and beyond could be a wild ride, which probably should come with an “adults only” warning.

But then again who knows?  We could be surprised.  Maybe we will have a clear winner and there won’t be that much unrest and dissent, and then we can all live happily forever after.

Hey, dreams are free.